A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Nats to attempt "barrel-over-falls-type" stunt
Sunday marked the last baseball game in Washington's historic RFK Stadium. The concrete-bowl park will come down with a very unusual event. Several Washington Nationals players will be chosen to experience the implosion of RFK from a "barrel" inside the stadium. The stunt is an effort to raise money for DC-area charities. Though a date has not yet been set for the leveling of the stadium, the team will use a lottery to select the players. "I'm a bit nervous that it could be me, but my wife thinks it's great for charity," said right fielder Austin Kearns. Each player will have time to raise donations around the city and region.
The four "barrels" will be designed and constructed by NASA and the Department of Defense engineers who have guaranteed the safety of the players participating. "These units are virtually indestructible and are very luxurious inside. They each have an AC, shower, and a small bar," explained Tom Wassaby, NASA spokesperson. One unit was thrown from the top of the Washington Monument with very little resulting damage.
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