Wednesday, July 16, 2008

MN, IA, NB, WY, MT, Can grow nervous as Dakotas consider reunification

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Minnesota, Iowa, Nebraska, Wyoming, Montana and Canada have recently expressed concerns to Washington, DC over North and South Dakota's possible reunification. Though the two never existed as a unified state they did exist as a unified territory.

"Even though we were a territory and not a state we were stronger when we were together. Reunification is crucial if we are to succeed in our strategy to invade Wyoming. I mean Montana. I mean...not invade any neighboring states," said North Dakota governor, John Hoeven.

On November 2, 1889 both North and South Dakota were admitted into the Union. Though historians are baffled as to how North was admitted as the 39th and South the 40th.

"It really may have been decided by drawing straws," said Harvard history professor, Daniel Chichester. Which in 1889 literally meant drawing a picture of a drinking straw with a charcoal pencil.

Other historians believe that South has never gotten over being admitted second and would thwart any chance of reunification.

"We know we're better as one but it's still tough to be chosen second. Northies[North Dakotans] sometimes have this attitude that they are better than more southern Dakotans," said Michael Rounds, S.D. governor. "Just because they have Theodore Roosevelt National Park and all."

When asked who would govern the new state blank faces appeared on both governors followed by great belly laughter.

Though most neighboring states are threatened by one Dakota other citizens thought it could be positive. "Would I want their crazy accent? No. But would I like their skill of carving faces into mountains? Yes," said Bridget Castor, of Boise, Idaho.

Some experts say Dakota is upset that their abundant fly fishing, corn, lake, blue astroturf and cowboy industries have all been squashed by neighboring states.

Though not a bordering state Idaho is very nervous over a unified Dakota. Boise State University uses the same blue astroturf that Northern South Dakota State uses in affect stealing its trademark.

"They would have had a booming potato and blue astroturf industry if it wasn't for Idaho," said economist, Sam Crowhurst.

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