A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Segway stolen, but assailant unable to balance
Greg Dorson recently sold his car, took a smaller apartment and sold half of his Swatch collection to pay for a new Segway. "I'm fascinated by stand-up travel that doesn't involve walking or running. And I've been fascinated for quite some time," said Dorson, who is looking to open Philadelphia's first Segway repair shop at the Navy Yard.
Early yesterday morning he was riding his newly purchased Segway to his job in Center City from his home in University City when he was assaulted. A man, hiding in an alley, emerged as Dorson passed and pushed him violently from the moving Segway.
"I didn't see him at all. Came out of nowhere demanding the Segs[Segway]. I wasn't hurt but just a bit terrified," said Dorson.
Initially the assailant attempted to pick up the device and run with it, but being almost 100 lbs he gave up after only a few steps. It was at this point that the mugger stepped onto the Segway in an effort to ride it.
"He first accelerated forward and fell off cutting his knee and elbow. He was very embarrassed but decided to try again," said Dorson.
After threatening Dorson with a closed fist a second try saw the transporter and the driver tip over forward without any touch to the accelerator.
"I simply could not balance on the device. I wasn't able to figure it out," said a frustrated Steve, who would not give his last name in the case that police were still looking for him.
"They're deceiving and it takes some time to learn to ride. I felt a little bad for the guy. His face was red and you tell he was uncomfortable not knowing how to ride it," said Dorson.
Dorson said he would not press charges but offered free lessons to Steve if he turned himself in because he so passionate about Seways and their mission of stand-up, low speed travel.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment