Preparation for World Series uncovers original Coors Field plans

One of the major obstacles in bringing baseball to the Mile-High City was that it was...well, a mile high. Many experts believed that the ball would fly out of the stadium like a Tiger Woods tee shot because of the thin air.

Some called for a 600 ft center field with similar dimensions down the lines. Pitchers would never want to come to Denver and see their ERA's surpass the Rocky Mountains.

One engineering company, Roobarb,Mixy, and Rebar came up with a plan to combat the naysayers and to prove that baseball would work here. The plan was recently discovered, sealed in cardboard tubes, in the bowels of Coors Field while the team was sprucing up "every last corner of the place" in anticipation of the World Series.

Mookie Roobarb and his brother Rebar Roobarb were huge baseball fans and desperately wanted Major League Baseball to place a team in Denver, their home city. The plan called for the stadium to be built 5,280 feet below the streets of Denver. To all Europeans and other worshipers of the metric system that is equal to 1,760 yards.

"It would have been a domed stadium built a mile into the Earth's crust," said the janitor, Allen Storm, who found the plans.

Having the stadium built at sea level gave the city a much better chance of landing a franchise. Fans would journey into the ground by way of a combination of over 200 elevators and escalators. Escalator rides would have surpassed 45 minutes from surface to stadium.

Also in the plans was a 14 ft layer of concrete under the stadium to prevent scalding hot liquid magma and lava from entering the seating area.

The plan was never made public, but to those who did know about it considered it very dangerous and controversial. Roobarb, Mixy, and Rebar passed away in freak accidents when three separate bombs detonated while all three were attempting to start their vehicles. Investigators called the accidents "manufacturing glitches."

A teary-eyed Mill Wagner, close friend of the engineers, said,"I just wish that Roobarb, Mixy, and Rebar would have lived to see the World Series come to Denver. It really stinks that they died in such freak accidents."