A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Rockies to rename stadium: Coors Cutter Field
The Colorado Rockies have announced that Coors Field, the team's home, will be renamed beginning with tonight's game. The park will now be known as Coors Cutter Field after the non-alcoholic beer the company produces. The change is being made to to reestablish the product in today's market. "The Cutter had a great run in the late 80's and early 90's, we want the Cutter to be our top selling non-alcoholic drink," said Jimmy John Coors, a Coors rep. Tonight's game between the Rockies and Phillies will feature only sales of soft drinks and Coors Cutters. Even though the drink contains no alcohol Colorado state law will still only permit customers to purchase two at a time. Some Cutter experts have stated that the Cutter-only sales were a means to keep visiting rabid Phillies fans in check. One Rockies' employee, who wanted to remain anonymous, said,"Please, I want to remain anonymous." The Rockies will be filling their giant Gatorade coolers with Coors Cutter to also promote the drink.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment