A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Friday, October 19, 2007
"Terror Behind the Walls" to offer diapers
The nationally ranked haunted house in Fairmount's Eastern State Penitentiary known as "Terror Behind the Walls" is looking out for its customers. The production will be setting up vending machines along the garden walls that line the south side of the former penitentiary. The machines will contain diapers for the adventurous guests that enter the fright fest. There will be two sizes of diapers-medium and large. "We tried to get a one-size-fits-all diaper but it was next to impossible," said Eastern State's director of sanitary control, Dana Gilly. The diapers will be $7.00 each and the machines will only take exact change in the form of dimes. If the $7.00 price tag seems steep there will be small mops available for $6.00, wet-naps offered at $3.00 and SOS pads for $1.00, also requiring dimes. "It's scary in there and there were some "issues" last year, then those "issues" turned into slippery walkways. We want a safe environment," said Gilly. Some performers have slipped in the "issues" making it difficult to frighten the "issues" out of people.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment