A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Brady hurts hand on Lombardi trophy
After the New England Patriots won the Super Bowl on Sunday over the Indianapolis Colts CBS's Jim Nantz handed an uncharacteristically high energy Tom Brady the Vince Lombardi Trophy. The excited quarterback grabbed the award and just as quickly dropped it. Brady cut his hand on the base of the trophy which has three extremely sharp points that resemble a pitchfork . The NFL has been concerned for years that something like this would happen.
Several years ago a few players formed a committee whose goal was to have the points "rounded off a bit." The players traveled the country showing the dangers of the award. "In the mountain streams of Wyoming I was actually able to spear fish with it," said the anonymous player. In Kansas City, Mo it was used in a meat packing plant, which needs no further description. Finally, it was attached to the front of an ice breaking ship in Lake Superior where the captain reported,"I ain't no never seen ice break like that, the ice was scared #&%less."
The rounding never happened for fear the trophy would not stand when placed on a table. "What if it wasn't able to stand up? Like one of those punching things that pops right back up, but this wouldn't pop back up," said a visibly upset Tyler Glastinopolis, rep from the NFL's Trophies division. Brady is expected to make a full recovery, but the question is: will the ice in Lake Superior?
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