A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Theaters experience plummet in candy sales after Halloween
Experts have studied it. The experts' assistants have studied it. College professors have studied it. Grad students have studied it. "It" is the trend of plummeting candy sales that the nation's movie theaters experience the week following Halloween. Candy sales remain relatively constant through out much of the year until the period just after the Halloween holiday. "I don't get it. Theaters see a hefty drop in sales, but the amount of candy wrappers in waste receptacles and seating area floors nearly triples," said Mike Avon, a marketing professor from Philadelphia University's School of Confection Confessions. Many of the wrappers collected and studied were selections not even offered at the lobby's food stands. This has some believing that rogue theater employees have established an underground candy market in the seating area.
Another theory that was quickly dismissed was the idea that patrons have been bringing in their own Halloween candy. "We nixed this idea quickly because all theaters have a strict "no outside food or drink inside the theater" policy," said Avon. Next week a panel will meet at MIT in Boston to discuss the next course of action in this long and exhausting study.
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