Monday, December 10, 2007

Kolb considers removing "L" from last name

Philadelphia, PA--Kevin Kolb (pronounced cobb), the Philadelphia Eagles' third-string quarterback, has had to answer many difficult questions since coming to the City of Brotherly Love as a high second round pick in last year's NFL draft. The rookie quarterback will face even tougher questions with yesterday's loss to the New York Giants, 16-13, inquiring about his timeline to the starting role.

But there is one question that causes great frustration for the Texas native: Why is the 'L' in your last name silent?

"Oh, I'm asked that question at least five times a week," said a suddenly serious Kolb. "In that part of Texas [Victoria] the letter 'L' was not officially recognized as part of the English alphabet until 1928."

When Texas was an autonomous region the letter was banned as a symbol of resistance against the Spanish who once controlled the area with a heavy fist and adored the letter. Later, when the French colonized parts Texas they demanded that 'L's be inserted into many of the locals' surnames to demonstrate French power. This caused many Texans to revolt against the occupiers by not recognizing the letter 'L,' which lasted until 1928.

"You will see the letter in many words and names in Texas, but most are silent as a symbol of our past struggles in uniting all Texans," said an emotional Kolb, staring into the bottom of his locker.

Kolb has admitted the questions about his name have worn him down, and, despite family pressure, he is seriously considering removing the 'L.'

"It is a Texas thing and the good folks here in the north just don't get it and I really don't know if I can answer another question about the it."

It appears that the young quarterback has a Texas-sized 'L' of a problem.

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