A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Petrino's twin brother has coached Falcons since week 4
Bobby Petrino, former Atlanta Falcons head coach, knew the situation in Atlanta was lose-lose when Michael Vick admitted to operating a dog fighting ring in Virginia and was removed from the team. The coach had been lured out of the college ranks from Louisville with the excitement of a promising team and a franchise quarterback and a 5 year multi-million dollar contract.
But the legal troubles of Vick tore the team apart and they went from good to awful. After seeing Joey Harrington attempt to replace Vick, Patrino knew he had to get out of the situation.
"I had to get the hell out of there. The plane was going down and there was only one parachute. I took the 'chute."
He yearned to get back to the college level, but more importantly had to get out of Atlanta. Petrino decided to call his twin brother Billy who is a teacher in south central Pennsylvania. Petrino offered the Falcons head coaching job to his teacher brother promising the full salary if he would "just sit in for me and act like you're me." Billy, who only played midget football, agreed and has been coaching the Falcons since week 4.
When Bobby finally found a college position with Arkansas he called Billy and told him that he needed to resign from the Falcons, which he did yesterday.
"It was a great experience, but I really had no idea what I was doing and I think most of the players and staff could tell that," said Billy Petrino.
Quarterback Byron Leftwich thought he noticed something different during week 4. "He[Billy] had no idea what the plays were. I would ask him about a play and he would say 'I can't be bothered by minor details.' He says this every week."
Aurther Blank, owner of the Falcons had this to say,"I just can't get over how much they look alike. It's frightening."
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