A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Monday, April 7, 2008
CSX:'Graffiti likely done while train was stopped.'
The rail freight company CSX has reported, after an internal investigation, that the recently discovered graffiti donning the side of a Waste Management rail container is the work of graffitists.
Officials also feel that the painting took place while the train was stopped and not moving. "The lettering is top notch. If this person did this on a moving train than I want to meet them. We could find a place at CSX for such a talented individual," said CSX director of operations, Lyle Drummind.
The graffitist, who goes by COWA-Can of Woop Ass, claimed he performs better on moving trains. "That particular work was done on a slow moving train, maybe 10 miles per hour. I realize it's hard to believe, but that's what I do best," said the artist.
Drummind was incredulous at the idea of spraying while moving. "No, I don't believe it. How would one support oneself on the side of a car?"
The artist, who is missing an arm, would not declare his methods for painting while in motion, but said that it involves several belts, a rolling pin, a nap sack and a handful of old cashew shells. "They're all critical components, but that's all I'm going to say."
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