A satirical look at the Philadelphia region and beyond. (All stories are fabricated, with no basis on fact.)
Friday, April 11, 2008
Residents of Wyoming, Colorado and Utah excel at Tetris
Scientists have reported that residents of three western US states-Colorado, Utah, and Wyoming- score higher on average than the other 47 states in the union on the once mega-popular video game Tetris.
Experts decided to study the trend when 15 out of the last 16 National Tetris Champions was either born or resided in one of these three states. "Last year I attended the annual Tetris Champions luncheon and, after hours of mingling, realized that the winners all had Wyoming, Utah, and Colorado in common in some way. It was quite fascinating, so I wanted to know why," said University of Pennsylvania video game analyst and tester, Dr. Peter Stringer.
The three states have something in common that no other state can claim. What is it?
Stringer, using test tubes and safety goggles, launched a four month investigation to answer this question.
"Tetris is a game of shapes and strategy. The lines are straight and not angled or curved. Wyoming, Utah, and Colorado are the only states that do not have a single natural border. They are blocks. And in Utah's case, a block with a small block on top," said Stringer.
The UPenn expert went on to say that residents born there or that live there are more aware of shapes and where to place those shapes during a fast-moving shape-themed video game.
"At first we included New Mexico in our results, but then realized that the Rio Grande River is actually a border between Texas and New Mexico for a short distance," said Stringer.
New Jersey and Florida residents scored the lowest with only only one straight border in the north with New York. "New Jersey has the Delaware on one side and the Hudson and the Atlantic on the other."
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